How to Survive a Sharknado!

The world is going crazy. There are times when I don’t know if I should panic or if I should just let everything blow over and not worry. Well, I’m not good at not worrying so I decided that I should prepare myself for some disasters that could possibly befall me.

To help me be fully prepared I decided to pick up a copy of the book, “How to Survive A Sharknado and Other Unnatural Disasters.” I am so glad that I did! I had heard a lot about sharknadoes and I worried about what to do in case one hit my town. I don’t want my life to end with the “Jaws” theme playing and Mr. Shark eating Leg ‘O Kerry. I don’t eat seafood so I don’t want seafood eating me!

The best thing about this book was that it offered a lot of great advice for disasters other than just sharknadoes that could befall you. For instance, let’s say that the killer dinosaurs escape from the island where the eccentric millionaire had them cloned from an ancient piece of dino DNA that just happened to survive in a mosquito that was preserved. Let’s say that a T-Rex is after you… what do you do? On page 48 of the survival guide we get the answer: “… you won’t be carrying a weapon large enough to hurt it. If it’s intent on eating you, it will eat you. However, you will be killed by the coolest dinosaur ever. Most people go their whole lives without ever seeing a T. rex in person. Do you know how lucky you are?”

Wow. Where else would you get advice like that? Count your blessings and always look on the positive side of things! It’s a fact that in all monster movies the biggest downer and doubting Thomas is almost always killed. That just goes to show that a negative mood is not going to help you survive a disaster of any sort.

Now, if you’re like me and live in an area where it gets very cold in the winter you might be afraid that perhaps the creatures from the Ice Age could resurface and take up residence in your neighborhood. I’m always reading about various species that scientists had declared to be extinct suddenly show up as if it was a big game of hide-and-seek. Let’s say that you have an exceptionally cold winter. As you’re standing at your front window watching the birds at the feeder a giant saber-toothed tiger appears out of nowhere and completely decimates all of the birds. Now what do you do? How do you prevent the tiger from crashing through your window and making you its dinner? I’ll tell you how; grab your survival book and turn to page 151 “… try distracting it with a laser pointer. If the saber-toothed tiger is anything like your house cat, it will never catch on. After a while, you may even feel guilty making it chase that little red dot.” Perfect! Thank you, survival book!

If you’re worried about the future and are afraid that you won’t be able to protect your family should a megapython start terrorizing your town, then you need this book. It will help you to prepare for any unnatural disaster that you might face. When the polar storm hits, you’ll be ready!

Oh, and just so that you know, I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.


This entry was posted in Book Review, books, Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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