Observing First Dates

Me and JayI believe that every good marriage started with a good first date. At least, that’s what I hope happened for most people. I’m sure that there’s the odd story here and there about how horrible the first date went, but they didn’t let that stop them. Jay and I had a WONDERFUL first date so that’s what I’m basing my theory on. 😉

The sole reason that I would entertain the thought of moonlighting as a bartender would be so that I could gather enough material to write a book. I’m not sure exactly what it would be about, but it would be hilarious and a number one best seller. <she humbly said>

At least one of the chapters would be about first dates. Again, I’m not sure if this would be a How-To book or just one where I write a lot of satire about situations I have observed. For instance, Jay and I love going out to restaurants, sitting at the bar and determining if any of the other couples are on a first date. Usually it’s not too difficult to spot.

Scenario #1 – He’s giving her his A-game and she’s wishing that her best friend would hurry up and do the ’emergency’ call.

Let me set the scene for you… It’s a Saturday night, the dinner crowd has thinned out so it’s mainly the late eaters and those who are pre-gaming for the bar scene. Across the bar sits a couple who you can instantly tell are not on intimate terms. She is sitting at the bar, facing forward, with her cell phone planted directly in front of her. He is sitting to her left, facing her, and doing his best to entertain and engage her with his conversation. He is all smiles and is giving her his full attention. She barely glances at him and instead spends time playing with her phone. Perhaps she was involved in a critical game of Words With Friends… one never can tell. She didn’t completely blow him off, she did chime in on the conversation once in a while, but for the most part she was only staying until they were done eating and then she was gone.

This is actually a hard scene to observe. You feel bad for the guy because he’s trying his hardest and giving it his all, and she’s paying scant attention to him. CRASH and BURN. We wanted to go over there after the date, give him a pat on the shoulder and tell him that he’ll find somebody. Poor guy!


Scenario #2 – She’s all over him and he’s just waiting for dinner to be over so that he can get out of there.

I wasn’t able to visually observe this couple because they were seated to my right, but Jay filled me in on the details that I needed. However, I was able to overhear the conversation (I couldn’t help it because they were RIGHT next to me) so I know approximately how it went. It was a first date and they had met online. There was some conversation about her family and her brother in the service. They discussed their spiritual beliefs, and then they spent most of the conversation discussing past dates and how they were each doing in the world of online dating.

The saddest part of this date was that you could tell, both visually and audibly, that the guy had checked out and was just being polite. Jay says that the guy’s leather jacket was buttoned up the entire time and he kept his arms crossed in front of him. The girl was wearing a low cut top and was very open and bubbly towards him. Even if they decided to date again I don’t think it would end up working out. Why?

Reason #1 – She tells him that she was raised Baptist, but now she doesn’t attend Church at all because she’s more spiritual minded than religious. She isn’t so dumb to think that there’s not a higher power, but really what is their purpose here you know? He chimes in and tells her that his entire family is Catholic. Ooops. He agrees with her to a point, but I think it was just so that he would keep from telling her what a moron she was (and she really did sound like one, as evidenced in Reason #2).

Reason #2 – The dumbest thing I’ve heard anybody say within earshot in a long time: “Whenever I see that somebody claims to be a Conservative I usually just don’t even bother contacting them because I feel that if you’re a Conservative then it means that you’re racist and very closed minded.” WOW. Seriously? I think that she should do some research and realize that if anybody is pointing out race or inequalities or even the unwillingness to bend it’s the Progressive Liberals. Let me remind you that in the 1960’s it was the Conservative Republicans who were fighting for equal rights, whereas the Democrats (Wallace, Strom Thurmon, Al Gore Sr) who were the racists. But I digress…

Reason #3 – Per Jay’s observation he said that he felt this girl would become a Stage 5 clinger. That’s bad. She was already trying to be as close to him as possible, with extra giggles and the attempt at sounding intelligent. However, I think that where she REALLY sunk the boat was when she said, “I have to tell you that I REALLY like you!” There was definitely some meaning behind those words! If the poor guy wasn’t ready to bolt by then, I think that might have sent him over the edge.  They finished their dinner (he only ate half of his) and then they left.

There really isn’t any point to this post except to relate a few observations that I’ve made. The next time you’re out at a restaurant take a look around to see if you can spot a First Date. It can be rather entertaining!

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