The other day while I was perusing the vast world wide web I noticed a headline about a car designed specifically for women. “What could this be?” I asked myself. Could it mean that they designed it with seatbelts that won’t ride up over your boobs and cut into your neck? Maybe they put in special heat ducts that focus more specifically on your feet plus a heated steering wheel? Or perhaps they designed a good spot to put your purse where it won’t tumble down under your feet if you stop suddenly, nor will it have to sit out in the open to tempt less moral individuals from trying to steal it off of your seat while stopped in traffic. Could the designers possibly have thought of these various issues and devised a solution for them?

Nope. After reading the article on Yahoo! I discovered that the engineers who worked long and hard on a car geared specifically for women had mainly one thought in mind: pink. Yep. Apparently that’s all that us women really care about. As we scurry through our normal every day lives the top most concern in our heads is, “Do I have enough pink in my life???” According to Honda, now we do. Phew! Thank goodness! Do you want to read an actual quote from this article? Of course you do:

“Launched this summer, the Honda Fit She’s designers say they wanted to take a
regular Fit subcompact and make it in their words “adult cute.” That means lots
of pink: Pink stitching in the seats and steering wheel and floor mats, matched
by pink metallic bezels around the shifter and displays. There’s also a few
extra shades of pink in the special She’s badge, spelled with a heart for an
apostrophe. If pink isn’t a customer’s style, Japanese buyers can also select a
Fit She’s in shades of brown and white that a Honda executive told the Yomuri Shinbun newspaper match the color of eyeshadow.”

So…. “adult cute” is supposed to be a selling point? Excuse me? Do I look like I’m six years old and wishing for a pony? I don’t think so! Just reading that paragraph makes me feel like some man is patting me on the head, pushing a disgustingly pink car at me, and summarily dismissing me and my real automotive desires. I don’t know about you, ladies, but I for one am happy that if I can’t get a car in pink that at least I can get one that will match the color of my eyeshadow!

As an adult who has had her driver’s license for quite a few years now I’ve managed to purchase a couple of cars in my life. In fact, I will probably need to purchase another one in a few years due to the fact that I’m not sure how long my CR-V with 116,000 miles is going to last. This is how I imagine car shopping to be:

<I walk onto the Honda lot and instantly a salesman appears at my side>

Salesman (S): Hello! Are you looking for your husband?

Me (M): No, I am interested in buying a car.

S: How cute! Will your husband be negotiating the deal?

M: Um.. no. This car is for me so I will be taking care of the entire transaction.

S: Oh, that’s so sweet. I have the perfect car for you!

M: But you don’t even know what I’m interested in. I’m thinking

S: (interrupting) Sure, I do! Please step over this way. I have the PERFECT vehicle that will fit all of your needs.

M: (Looking at the pink car) That’s a Fit. I’m not interested in a car. I currently have a CR-V that…

S: (Interrupting again) Oh, they don’t come in pink so you won’t want one of those. This car is perfect for you! Look, it even has pink stitching!

M: That’s very nice, but…

S: (interrupting) Great! If you come into the office I’ll start the paperwork!

M: No, wait! I don’t want a Fit! I would like to look at the CR-Vs since that’s what I currently own.

S: But I told you, that doesn’t come in pink. And look! There’s a heart in the ‘She’s’ logo instead of a normal apostrophe! Now, let’s get that paperwork started.

M: You don’t understand. I don’t care that it’s pink. I don’t want this car. I’m looking for something that is all wheel drive, with lots of cargo room.

S: (opening up back latch) This has plenty of space for the new shoes and purses that you will buy at the mall!

M: But it’s not going to fit the A-10 model airplane that my husband flies at the field, nor will it comfortably accomodate several other airframes.

S: Of course not! This is a woman’s car! It has plenty of cargo space for groceries and shopping bags. Plus, did you notice that even the shift knob is pink!

M: Seriously? What makes you think that I want this car just because it’s pink? I’m looking for the ability to haul large things plus I want to sit up higher than what this car will allow.

S: You’re a woman! This car was designed with you in mind! See, it’s pink!!

M: Good grief. I think that I’m going to be sick. If I wanted to be treated like a moron I would go to the home improvement store. I’ll be back when you can treat me like an intelligent adult and not a brainless bimbo.

S: (yelling at my retreating back) But it’s PINK!!!