I don’t want to get all ‘librarian’ on you, but you have left me no choice except to look at you in a disapproving manner. Believe me, this is for your own good! We need to have a serious conversation. Are you sitting down? Stop fidgeting! Look me in the eye!

Tonight I stopped at the drug store in order to buy more allergy medicine. You see, I am allergic to just about EVERYTHING and the only thing that keeps me in a good mood is to have my sinuses unclogged and my ears, nose and throat to be non-itchy. In order to make this happen I have to take an allergy pill with a decongestant in it every day. I used to get a prescription brand until it was costing me $50 a month. I then went to an OTC generic brand and that lowered it to around $30 a month. I have no problem paying $30 a month for medicine that makes me able to function without wanting to take a fork to the back of my throat in order to stop the itching. 

Here is where you come in… Apparently you (Congress) seem to think that even though it’s my tax dollars that are paying your salary and very generous health benefits (I’m sure that you could get all of the allergy medicine that you wanted for $5 a month!), you seem to think that it’s your job to babysit me and tell me what I can and can’t do. You have justified this by saying that if you limit a person’s ability to buy the ingredients for meth then there will be a lot less meth cooking in various home labs. Apparently you have spent way too much time living with other brainless morons because guess what? If you’re a meth addict and you are cooking up your own batch, YOU WILL ATTAIN THE INGREDIENTS NO MATTER WHAT!!! I know that this stupid law regulating the amount of decongestant that I’m allowed to buy, in a certain period of time, is not decreasing the amount of meth being made because I hear about drug raids and meth labs blowing up all of the time! *Feigns Shock* Don’t the meth addicts realize that they are supposed to stop producing meth because the Know-It-Alls in Washington, DC have told them that they can’t buy too much of the ingredients all at once??

Instead, do you know what ends up happening? I’ll tell you! I stop by the drug store to buy some more allergy medicine because I only have one pill left for the next day (and yes, I am taking it AS DIRECTED). Since I’m in town and have to stop there anyway I figure that I will save energy and time by doing all of my shopping at once (God forbid I leave behind a giant “carbon footprint” with my SUV by making two trips to the pharmacy!). However, I am told by the cashier that I’m not allowed to buy any because I’ve purchased too much in the stated period of time!!!! Tell me how in the HELL I could have bought too much of it when I bought a 15 pack two weeks ago tomorrow (I took one that day and one each day after) and I only have one pill left. How DARE you tell me that I can’t have my allergy medicine! I can only hope that some day you are eaten alive by mosquitoes and when you go to buy some calamine lotion or anti-itch cream that every pharmacy within a 100 mile radius is OUT! Maybe then you will understand what it’s like to be without allergy medicine. All because you are trying to protect us from ourselves. Dear Congress people, if you truly want to protect the American people then you would best do this by taking a flying leap over Niagara Falls!!

Don’t look down!