Mr & Mrs Hot Stuff’s Wedding Announcement

This past weekend my friend Sarah gave me a wedding announcement that she had cut out of the paper. It seems that my high school crush got married this past May. Congratulations! He’s a really nice guy so I hope that he’s very happy.

Reading his announcement, though, got me to thinking about what I would have written if Jay and I had put one in the paper. We didn’t publish one because we figured that everybody who needed to know about our wedding had attended it. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t have wanted to write it in the correct manner. Here is an example from the wedding announcement that I was given this weekend:

“Escorted by her father, the bride wore a Provonias gown. The strapless sheath gown was fashioned with lace on the bodice, skirt, and train. She also wore a silk white chapel-length tulle veil trimmed with lace. Her bouquet was tied with her late grandmother’s embroidered handkerchief.”

I have no idea what a Provonias gown may be, and I suppose that I could look it up, but I prefer to speculate. It makes my life more interesting to do so. I’m guessing that it’s the brand. I think. Anyway, since we are nearing our one year anniversary (already??!!) I thought that I would post my wedding announcement here… Kerry style…


Mr and Mrs Hot Stuff

Mr. and Mrs. Hot Stuff

Kerry Hillbilly and Jay Hot Stuff were united in marriage on Saturday, November 24, 2012 at 2:00 p.m. at The Roman Catholic Church. A reception and dinner immediately followed at The Moose (catering by Jerry). Music was provided by a really great DJ. On the eve of the wedding, the parents of the groom hosted a rehearsal dinner at the groom’s mother’s house where the ambulance easily found the address to take the groom’s brother to the emergency room later that night.

The bride is the daughter of Mr and Mrs Hillbilly of Amish Country.

The groom is the son of Mrs Karen of Three Doors Down from the Married Couple, and Mr John in Florida.

Escorted by her father, the bride wore a stinkin’ gorgeous gown that she managed to get for a REALLY great price. The stunning dark blue train was gorgeously embroidered with silk thread and accented with lots of beautiful beads and crystals. The bride’s head was adorned with a crystal and pearl tiara. In her hands she carried a bouquet of Wal-Mart roses, one of which was pink and represented the bride’s older sister (who was there in spirit).

Sister of the bride Droof and best friend of the bride Pauline served as maids of honor.

Brother of the groom Justin and cousin of the groom Eric served as best men.

The bride is a graduate of Backwoods Central School. She received her bachelors of science degree in accounting from Beautiful Lakes College. She is currently employed as a quotes analyst for a contract manufacturer.

The groom is a graduate of Big City School District. He bravely served in the Navy after high school where he taught many young pilots how to fly. He is currently employed as a metallurgic engineering manager in a local foundry.

After being married for three weeks the couple were able to finally live together in their new home. A honeymoon will be taken when they attend SEFF in April 2014. No, they are not yet ‘expecting.’


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