Promise Rings. I love jewelry, but this is a concept that I have a hard time getting my head wrapped around. A promise ring? To me that says, “Here, I am giving you this ring to shut you up for a while about marriage.” I don’t understand it. You aren’t to a place where you want to absolutely commit and give your girlfriend an engagement ring, but you don’t want to lose her so you give her a promise ring? What does that mean? “I promise to think about possibly marrying you, but for now I don’t want to get too serious about things.” Is it just me or is that a silly idea?
Guys, man up! If you aren’t ready for the serious step of getting engaged then sit down and talk about it. Don’t try to appease her by giving her a promise ring. That’s a cheap cop-out. I don’t think that I could take a guy seriously who gave me a promise ring. If you truly want to spend your life with me, but aren’t quite ready to take that step then let me know. We can talk about it and decide what kind of timeline we are each thinking about. I realize that girls often rush ahead of things and start dreaming about the big wedding after the third date, but please don’t patronize us by giving us a piece of jewelry that says, “I love you enough to want to give you a nice piece of jewelry and earn some points in the process, but it can’t be as serious as an actual engagement ring.”
If you really want to impress me, get me something that you know I will love because you know that my favorite color is blue and my favorite stone is the sapphire. Something like this:
No promises of something that you’re not ready for. Nothing to hint at a future that may or may not happen. Just a token of your love for me. That’s it. Leave the promise rings at the store where they belong.
I think promise rings historically had a valid role as men didn't used to be able to ask for a girl's hand unless they had a job, a house and the ability to provide for her. In that context, promise rings were a statement of intention that made sense until the official request could be made. Today, though, it doesn't really work that way any more (obviously). Rings are tough for guys to give as gifts, I think, because modern society alternately places very high value on them and none at all.