I Am

I Am… very powerful words to Christians. It is the name of God. I Am. We were all created in his likeness and thus are a reflection of who He is when we say I Am. It’s something to really live up to. I was reminded of this when I read the Unbound post at (in)courage.

The little girl reminds me of what I try to do a lot. It reminds me of what we all try to do. After all, fashion magazines wouldn’t make nearly as much money if we didn’t all think that we had to live up to some ideal that society has set for us. I am a 5’10” woman with brown eyes, brown hair, and a peasant stock build. There is NO WAY that I will ever be able to slim down to a size 2. There is no way that I am going to dye my hair blonde or wear blue contacts. It’s just not going to happen. And yet I feel like I’m not as worthy as the blonde sitting next to me just because the studies all say that guys prefer blondes with blue eyes and size 2 waists.

This is me. Kerry, plain and tall. I don’t like that picture at all. I would destroy it if I thought it would do any good. Whenever I look at it I see everything that is wrong with me. It makes me wonder how such a great and cute guy like Jay could ever want to date me. I mean, look at me. There’s nothing that says that I’m a hot woman with a lot going for her. Then I read that blog post about the little girl wanting to change her appearance to be something that she wasn’t, just to impress others. I AM…

I AM… a Civil War obsessed woman who owns over 300 books on the war and even sews my own Civil War dresses just because I like wearing them.

I AM… a sister who felt like I had to care for and watch over my other two sisters. And I am also a sister who misses Chrissy VERY much despite the fact that she was a lot of responsibility.

I AM… a girly girl who LOVES dressing up in beautiful dresses with large skirts. My senior prom I spent most of the time walking around and feeling beautiful despite the fact that I wasn’t wearing a typical prom dress.

I AM… a celiac. It makes me very careful about everything that I eat and even touch. It makes it hard to date me because I have to be selfish and make sure that my health needs are put at the top of the priority list.

I AM… me. Plain and simple. I may wear glasses and go barefoot half of the time (or maybe that’s half barefoot… lol), but that’s who I am. Like me or leave me. What you see is what you get. I’m not going to starve myself in order to cave to a definition of beauty that I will never reach. Why should I? I am going to continue to be me. I am going to swoon at pictures of General Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson. I will continue to worry and watch over my younger sister as best as I can. I will always love cats and want to cuddle them. And no matter what, I will know that I am beautiful and special. And that Jay, or any other guy, is lucky to have me in his life. After all, why go for typical when you can have me??

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1 Response to I Am

  1. Jamie says:

    This is beautiful and I love it! You are beautiful, and I am so glad you know it!

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